Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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