worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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