White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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