A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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