Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
