I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
