do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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