last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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