peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
