he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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