Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
