She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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