In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
