please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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