just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
