please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
