i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
