We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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