she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
