just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
