I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
