why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
