she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
