Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
where are my eyebrows?
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