I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
