angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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