Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
organizing the empties. That sober.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
