I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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