Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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