do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
it's great music for shaving your balls
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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