Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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