Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize