I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We have started to decorate penises.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
