We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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