and i looked up. we had an audience...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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