she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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