Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
