from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
