Having a random hookup so left but love u
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
