Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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