so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
