would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
