I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize