My brain says no but my pants say off.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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