I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
sex in a hospital.. check
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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