Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
