new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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