i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize