took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize