Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
