Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
