there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize