dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
