You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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