wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
