If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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