How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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