I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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