I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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