Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize