I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
