break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
