Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
