It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
