Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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