on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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