she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
