she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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