i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My feet surprised me
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