ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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