I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
